Ran-ten

You make my soul sing. You are my light. But I look upon you... I don't think you need me. And so i look away... Going back into the night. I want to run to you.  I want to hear your voice. I want to be in your arms & just block out the world. Trying to avoid my tendencies. Trying to strive anew, but to what end? What end do i strive with you?

You may want it clean, like soap, bubbling over it's so nice. But we want it rough, like frayed paper, with such texture that we feel it with such delight. You want it perfect and neat, when we want it colorful and off the beat. We want to release the pressure and take the bullets away from the gun. As you step closer to the fire, not knowing if you'll be up to speed to catch the power that you desire. We want to take away the sword that is our pen, leaving it at the door, and finally let the sun shine in. You step closer to the stencil, trying to be seen above everyone else. So we rage war, clashing with each other; reaching for what

If I cry my eyes out. Will the tears dry up? If I shout long enough. Will someone answer back? If enough blood falls. Will my heart stop beating? There are so many questions that we ask ourselves in our darkest hours. We don't really want to know, but secretly, we do. We want to know if something is possible although it seems impossible in our minds. So, we remain in the silence and hope that someone will shine the light we are so desperately looking for. We fumble with our emotions that we try to keep concealed from our loved ones. And we look away from people because we know the truth.

I'm nobody's princess. I do not float on air. My heart is downtrodden filled with despair. There is no crown hidden under all the clothes. Not even a hint of a jewel in the ruble. I'm nobody's prize. My heart can't be touched anymore. It is frozen in time. The wall has been rebuilt. There is no hope anymore. I am not who you think I am. Yes, I would die for some of you. But I know where my place is. I will smile for your sake. Even when I die alone, knowing I gave you my all. I am not your roll model. You think I am, but I’m not. Some of my qualities are what you want. But you don’t want my life. Trust me. I am n

Who do you think you are? When you tell me those things. How do you think I feel? When tears run down my eyes. Do you think I want to feel pain? Just so you can make fun of it. Do you really think I want to be here? Alone. Was that wall built in a day? Only, if you gave me every brick with each word you hurt me with. Do you really believe that I like walking the road I walk? Where I fall every single step and make myself get back up again and again. Are you going to stand there? As I manage to kill myself. Is my body going to be worth looking at? When I am gone. Did you really see me for what I truly was? Or did the fake smil

What do you do when you are wounded? When tears just seem to keep falling down… When your heart hurts to beat… When you do not care if it is day or night… When the days suddenly just becomes a number that just repeats… And you have to set events up that just repeat just so you know that time passed… Because you do not know otherwise… You see everything connected to that guy… That guy that took your heart with him… You do not see it unless it is getting torn to shreds… It is taking the place of his heart… So that he does not feel the pain like he once did… What do you tell a pe

Who says life is easy? -I did not. Who says life DOES NOT suck? -I need to find that person. What gives you the right to judge me? -I only existed, I am working on it. When am I going to start smiling again? -When I start feeling happy again. How am I going to get through to you? -By doing everything I can possibly think of. When is the blood going to stop flowing? -When I put an end to it. When am I going to stop thinking like that? -When you step up and put my mind to rest. What do you tell me when I cry? -Do not say it is going to be okay, because it is still not. Why do you tell me you love me? -When you will not h

Who is the girl? Who will pick up a penny and be happy. I'm the girl, who would believe you if you told me something. Because I take things literally. I'm the girl, who would argue over something pointless. Because it matters to ME. I'm the girl, who would wait for the guy I love. Because in my head, there is a hope that won't die. I'm the girl, who would listen to you say something four times. Because I know it matters to you. I'm the girl, that gets worried if you get a headache. Because I think you need someone to care, even if it's just me. I'm the girl, who will get dressed up for a skype call. Because I think that I need to

I sit here and I wait. Phone in one hand. The other hand monitoring my heat rate. The pain still there, growling, waiting to take it's place. The pain ready to consume. Like a drop of blood beckoning a shark. On the hunt, for it's prey. But I'm still in the water, still bleeding my heart out. I get torn to pieces every day, till there is no morsel to be given chase. Just like on land, nothing left of me. All is gone, she will only be a brief memory. A person that was, but now is no more. Here and gone. Since her heart could not beat, anymore.

You told me no when I wanted it to stay yes. You told me stop and forced me to go. The love you shared soon got turned into despair. As the sorrow began to interchange with the bits of happiness that did remain. I see your face. Know your scent but instead you keep walking. And I begin to dissolve away. No need to turn, no need to listen for a sound. I’m fading, the light that once shown so brilliantly now only vapors here and there,  drifting away. Your light will be showcased. I can make you number one. And soon all the life force I had will soon be totaled out. I gave it to you, I ran for you, cried for you, and gave my